For my sister, in her last moments of pregnancy

As I write this, I’m sitting in a fully prepared nursery in the home of my 41-week pregnant sister in Nevada. Around me are beautiful children’s books filled with empowering messages for this new tiny human, and a re-purposed CD rack with at least 30 cloth diapers of assorted colors and increasing sizes to fit her tiny bum that will grow faster than we can even imagine, I’m sure.

I have the privilege of acting as my sister’s doula; this impending birth will be the first for us both. As her doula, I take my role of keeping her calm, comfortable, and as stress-free as possible very seriously. This re-emergence of the Fein Toothed Comb (after a nearly four-year hiatus) is dedicated to her, the Comb’s number one fan.

Probably unsurprisingly, this blahg is about our culture and its treatment of pregnancy and birth. While my Master’s credential actually has the term “reproductive health” in it, never have I felt so deeply connected to the issue as I am now with not one, but THREE of my siblings bringing a child into the world within six weeks of today. (We are still trying to figure out which water fountain they all drank out of that caused this to happen… but I digress.)

A few months ago I decided to embrace this mass family impregnation as the time to fulfill a decade-long personal dream of becoming a birth doula. For those of you who haven’t heard that term before, a birth doula is a support person who provides physical, emotional, and informational support to a woman (and her partner, if she has one) before, during, and just after giving birth. The doula course was phenomenal. In so many ways. I learned a ton about emotional support for new parents, conscious and sensitive communication, conscious and productive physical touch, the ins and outs of childbirth (so-to-speak,) and much, much more.

I was struck, and overwhelmed to tears, by the more in-depth look at the medicalization of childbirth that this course explored. I was stunned to hear about the extraordinarily high rates of unsatisfactory childbirth experiences, unnecessary medical intervention, and a culture of fear that has permeated the most quintessential process our bodies have evolved to endure.

I began asking questions. I asked the women around me who have given birth about their own experiences and those of others whom they know. I asked about what happened, how it played out, how they felt then, and how they remember back on it now. I asked what they loved about the experience, if anything, and what they would change about it, if anything.

The emerging theme in my anecdotal experiment, supported by Penny Simkins’ discussion in this article, is that those who felt a sense of control and support throughout their labor tend to view the experience as an important feat, one that increased their sense of personal ability, confidence, and esteem. On the other hand, those who felt that they lacked control or power over their birth experience, recalled the memory apprehensively, negatively, and in some cases a harmful trigger of past trauma.

Whhyyyy, I wondered, is this happening?! This is the most powerful natural process our human bodies are capable of, why is it something we have devalued and dismissed our own ability to accomplish to such a profound degree? Why do we fear the process so deeply in our culture?

While somewhere around 10% of births will require medical intervention due to naturally occurring complications (and thank goodness we have access to modern medical technology when it is necessary,) our country is up to a whopping 33% cesarean birth rate. We have actually medicalized the process of birth in the United States to the point that we've increased the risk and made it a more dangerous endeavor for women and babies.

Mind-boggling, I know. Don't even get me started on parental leave and breastfeeding in our country...

It’s important to note that when I speak of “control” as it relates to childbirth, it is not about controlling the exact specifications of labor, as so much of it is inevitably unpredictable. Control is about being the primary voice in the proceedings, unencumbered by coercion and unwelcomed influence, advice, or intervention. Control is about choosing to allow our bodies and our babies to do what we may not even know we are capable of yet: powerfully, naturally, and majestically. (Not surrendering, but allowing.) And control is about being able to trust that those who we invite to be around us (family, friends, doulas, midwives, doctors) will work to uphold our values and desires to the very best of their ability, and ensure that our health, safety, emotional well-being, and that of our offspring is the highest priority.

So, here we are, a mere seven days past my sister’s estimated 40-week “due date.” We go on long walks every day, we are working on projects around the house, watching movies, and making birth-day cakes to enjoy in anticipation of the day that is just around the corner now. We are in the “in-between” zone, which Jana Studelska so beautifully articulates. We have one foot in both worlds: crib constructed, diapers stacked, breastmilk ready… just no baby yet.

As Dr. Studelska discusses, our language entirely lacks an expression to honor this “in-between” human experience with positivity and strength… so instead, we worry. Rather than resting and reflecting, this time is often fraught with anxiety and frustration over when the baby will come and if it is safe to let the cycle conclude on its own. (I can’t tell you how many people have already suggested that my sister go to extreme measures to induce labor. By the way, stop that, please. She’s got this.) 

When we can’t define something, we tend to fear it, rather than embrace it. When we approach something with fear, rather than open-mindedness, positive outcomes may be hindered. Let's all work to calmly support this in-between time and offer empowering words and actions, rather than upsetting the fragile state of eager anticipation that we are working hard to maintain. Trust me, you'll know when the baby is here.

So for now, my sister and her support team – me, her partner, her midwife, and her German Shepherd – are waiting (some moments more patiently than others,) waiting for this magical, mysterious, beautiful human to emerge, bright-eyed and ready for the world. My sister, in her ever-present wisdom and strength, has laid the groundwork for her birth experience to be empowering, comfortable, and supportive in a way that suits her to a T.

And, we wait.

And Will You Succeed? Yes Indeed, Yes Indeed…

So, I just completed a graduate degree program and am now officially an “MPH”… a Minister of Proper Hugs*, a Magician with Purple Hats, a Mistress of Polyester Hip-huggers, and a Master of Public Health.  I mention this because it has become the impetus for some blahg-worthy thoughts about the role of advanced degrees and the valuation on formal education in society.

When I decided to attend Columbia University in the summer of 2010, I found myself inexplicably uncomfortable with sharing the news.  It seemed that far too often I experienced a level of (not necessarily welcomed) awe from people who I would tell, which for a long time led to my withholding the details of my upcoming plans in an effort to avoid the reaction that caused me to blush and stutter.

In retrospect, my reluctance to broadcast the details of my matriculation was not because I was not proud of this accomplishment or eternally grateful for having had this privilege and opportunity, it was because I do not view it as any more awe-invoking than the many other paths for learning and development that exist and are necessary for our society to thrive.  This is a notion that I have struggled to define and articulate in the face of a deeply engrained high appraisal on a formal academic path in our society.

The human race has an extremely long legacy of placing value on certain types of intelligences.  This legacy now pervades every element of how our societies function and I view it as a tragic loss for people overall.  By “intelligences” I am referring to the different ways that we learn, the different passions that we have, and the different strengths that we all bring to the table, both by nature and by nurture.  That said, I’ve noticed that somewhere along the way (long, long ago) we decided that men’s intelligences are superior to women’s, and that intelligences of white people are superior to those of people of color.

These developments have led to the destruction of one of humankind’s most valuable assets, that of diverse worldviews and intelligences.  Sometimes in ways that are more violent and direct, such as the genocide of Native Americans and their ways of life upon European settlement in the United States, and sometimes it is more subtle, such as the slashing of music, arts, and physical education in public schools.  These acts and many others are the symptoms of a streamlining effect that has thwarted much of our creative and productive potential to the privilege of some, and the detriment of many.

The high level of regard that a formal academic education holds in our society has led to a devaluation of the many other experiences, skills, intelligences, trainings, and expertise outside of the classroom that have throughout history created a synergistic level of richness and depth.

I have recently come to terms with the fact that my particular set of strengths and my chosen professional path is one which society values highly as it fits into the narrowly defined ideals of “success” in financial gain, professional merit, and symbolic milestones; though I will not accept that it is the most ideal.  This is only one particular path, one of billions.  This one works well for me and I feel achieved in my unique path.  The key that I’ve come to understand though is that for one of us to be successful in our hopes, dreams, and passions, we all need to be empowered to succeed in our own.  On a macro and systemic scale, we need to place value on different worldviews in order to draw a full picture and broaden our ideals for a successful livelihood.

These ideas are reminiscent of what the speaker Chimamanda Adichie refers to as “The Single Story”.  We are quite proficient at painting the picture of a whole people based on single ideas of what is or what should be; in doing so we lose sight of the bigger idea, the diversity that truly exists.  I certainly recommend this TED Talk.

I hope that one day my kids and grandkids will grow up with the understanding that each of our strengths is valued and of value in a holistic way.  They will see their voices represented in our media and government and the strengths of our diverse worldviews expressed and considered in making important decisions.

In the meantime, I offer gratitude to the many, many people who have followed their passions and by doing so empowered and enabled me to follow mine; from my family and friends, to the professors and staff, to the construction workers and engineers, to the artists, the farmers, the drivers, the janitors, the painters, etc.  We all need one another and all of our combined intellects in order to succeed.

*Thanks to Shoshi Fein and Sean Crosby for the fun acronyms!

Florida Governor Rick Scott Wears Tight Jeans

I am wearing jeans today because...

…Or at least he should.

Why, you ask? Well, today is Denim Day, a national event to raise awareness about sexual assault in the U.S.  The holiday is inspired by a court case in the Italian Supreme Court in 1998 that overturned the conviction of a man who had raped a young woman who had been wearing jeans.  The judge wrote that “because the victim wore very, very tight jeans, she had to help him remove them, and by removing the jeans it was no longer rape but consensual sex”.

Today, all around the U.S., people are wearing denim jeans to demonstrate solidarity with this young woman and the many, many survivors of sexual assault who have been blamed or who blame themselves for what happened to them because of something they wore, someplace they were, something they drank, or any of the many other mechanisms of blame that land on the survivors of these crimes.

I’m wearing jeans today to raise awareness that it was NOT her fault in 1998, it was NOT your fault or mine when it happened to us, and there are NO excuses for sexual assault.

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So this might still leave you wondering what Florida Governor Rick Scott has to do with tight jeans. I shall elaborate...

In the midst of April, the beginning of Spring and Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Governor Rick Scott swiftly slashed significant funding from 30 rape crisis centers of Florida. In response to this major cutback, Rick Scott was quoted saying “This new funding of $1.5 million would have been duplicative, since, as a state, we already fund sexual violence programs. There was no information suggesting any needs in this area weren’t already being met”.

The bewildered Florida Council Against Sexual Violence had to pick it’s figurative jaw up off the floor in order to describe to the press precisely how detailed they had indeed been with the governor in explaining the immensity of their current need for funding.  With waiting lists as long as weeks, sometimes months, many survivors of sexual assault in Florida are not receiving the services they need.

Clearly facing an unmet need, Florida is the latest “victim” of a society that exemplifies the profound misunderstanding of the true impact of sexual assault, not only on the individual, but on the community at large.  Governor Rick Scott, who so easily scoffed this budget cut off as a source of unsubstantiated spending, is contributing to a society that places survivors of sexual assault in a perpetual category of other-ness, disconnecting himself (and tragically, the budget that he controls) from the deeply rooted consequences that resonate through our communities in this rape-prone world.

Speaking of which… 

This Denim Day, I call out to our men. Our brothers, fathers, partners, and friends… This month is your time to speak out and to break the cycle. As Tony Porter so eloquently reflects upon in the TED Talk posted below, it's high time that our men step into action.

In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I implore everyone to take a moment, watch the video below, wear your jeans with purpose and pride, and rise up and reflect on our current state and how we can collectively raise awareness and stop the violence.

I hope that one day that you too, Governor Rick Scott, will put on your jeans in solidarity.

You Just Keep on Hoping They Serve Beer in Hell, Mr. Max

Never have I been so pleased or proud that an organization that I love and respect, Planned Parenthood, did NOT get half a million dollars.

Ick.

Last week Ryan Holiday, financial strategist of the best-selling author Tucker Max, facetiously suggested to the writer that he donate $500,000 to Planned Parenthood in an effort to reduce his tax burden and to clean up his contemptible public reputation in many circles who, you know, respect women. After thinking it over for a few days, Tucker Max agreed.

You see, Tucker Max, author of “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” has found his fame and fortune by writing his real-life stories of chauvinism, excessive alcohol imbibing, targeted and competitive womanizing, and behavior that very easily constitutes sexual assault. The fact that our society so readily and enthusiastically consumes this material, enough to make him a best-selling author is another issue worth discussing… in another blahg though.

I’d like to take a moment to highlight the phenomenal statement of solidarity and steadfast commitment to the principle of the matter by Planned Parenthood. Initially excited by the prospect of a major financial donation in a time of great need (particularly in Texas, the state that was dangerously close to being the home of “The Tucker Max Planned Parenthood Clinic”), our beloved pro-woman organization put a halt to the madness.

A few summers ago, in an effort to familiarize myself with his work, I did indeed read quite a bit of one of his vile volumes. (Know thy enemy.) I plowed through story after story of his “escapades”. 

Here are a few choice quotes from his work:

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“Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.”—His winning personality.

“There is a girl lying next to me on the bed, shaking me, saying something. She is not happy. She is also not skinny. Or attractive. She may not even be human.”—That last line is particularly repugnant.

“After about 6 shots, she tells me, ‘I think I am getting really drunk. I always do stupid things when I’m drunk.’ Strike up the band, we have a winner.”—No, sir. You will never, ever win.

“How long have you known women? Dude–They’re all whores. Except our mothers.”—Solid message for our daughters here……..

“No seriously, I will probably just come on your back, then get dressed and leave. And I’ll probably break some trinket of yours on my way out, just to show my disdain for you.”—I can’t even sarcastically comment on this one.

--------------------------------

You may not be surprised that I didn’t make it through the whole book. Indeed, right then and there I committed my life to counteracting these despicable, degrading, and destructive messages.

Particularly poignant with regard to Planned Parenthood, we have one more comment from our loathsome friend, “Planned Parenthood would be cooler if it was a giant flight of stairs, w/someone pushing girls down, like a water park slide”—tweeted by Tucker Max in July 2011.

So let me offer my profound gratitude and kudos to Planned Parenthood for taking a stand against this writer and all of the social ills that he represents and encourages. We will not abide by such abhorrent behavior and the promulgation of disrespect and sexual objectification of women in our society. Our honorable Planned Parenthood will not be the dumping grounds for the disreputable Tucker Max to “rehabilitate some of [his] PR”, a sentiment expressed by his strategist Ryan Holiday in his frustrated Forbes.com post.

To help make up for the high-principled sacrifice on Planned Parenthood’s part, feel free to help condone the act and send the message that we don’t need one penny from the reprehensible Tucker Max by donating to Planned Parenthood!



Thanks to Ben for bringing this exciting news to my attention, and to Thesaurus.com for many choice words to describe my feelings about Tucker Max.

Red Fish, Blue Fish

Let’s spend a few minutes thinking about race in our society. And racism.

Tim Wise, a phenomenal speaker and teacher, suggests that more people in our country believe that there is a chance that Elvis might still be alive today than believe that racism is still an issue in society.  (The video linked to "Tim Wise" is an extremely important talk, I cannot recommend it highly enough.)

As a member of the white race in our society, it is far too easy to not ever know that racism remains. Though many believe that we have already fixed this issue through the high-profile activism of the 1960s, I will discuss here my belief that my generation’s general passivity on the issue is a profound piece of the promulgation of the problem which is now not only still immensely part of our daily lives, but is more silenced and masked than times past.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” –Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., April 16, 1963

As Dr. King so eloquently describes, as long as oppression of any one person still exists, all of us are ultimately negatively impacted. One of the barriers with this issue, though, is that while one group of people experiences oppression, another experiences privilege. A difficult and controversial idea that underlies the issue of ‘isms’ in our society is that to achieve equality in our world, those with the social power need to understand and be aware of that power and the profound and unspoken human cost by which we enjoy it, and indeed, we must ultimately be willing to relinquish some of that power for the sake of creating equality.

The privilege we (white people) enjoy is not always easy to recognize; the deeply rooted nature of it allows for many to not even know that it is there. Or worse yet, to see social privilege and believe that it is solely self-created or a product of one’s own actions, and that those without social power (people of color) are the creators of their own destinies as well. Such denial, such unawareness.

Indeed, having privilege or not is about the schools that we attend and the way we are treated within those schools; it is about the communities we all grow up in and the perspective that that context offers us of the world; it is about the opportunities that are available to each of us and the future that they allow for; it is about the physical and emotional safety we all feel and the impact that feeling can have on our lives; it is about the looks that we receive from other people and the way that they translate into perception of ourselves.

It is about being privileged enough to take these things for granted.

I suggest that to be “colorblind” is far too limiting. The solution to this problem is not to stop acknowledging that we, as a human species, have different shades of skin than one another. Rather, it is to appreciate and RESPECT our rainbow of skin colors and the culture, history, and stories of each individual and their ancestors. It is to increase awareness of one another and our contexts, and to escape the culture of fear that is so perpetuated by negative media outlets, segregated communities, and a reluctance to explore the unknown. It is to recognize and accept the inequities and the privileged culture of supremacy over others that we, as white folks, are raised within at the cost of all others.

It is to constantly strive for a society in which being born in a certain place or with a certain color of skin does not dictate the circumstances and privileges of our lives. 

Rather than only a few minutes, let’s spend a few thoughts everyday on racism... And how to passionately and thoroughly combat it.

In honor of Trayvon Martin, whose crime was no deeper than the color of his skin.

V-Blahg: In Awe and Reverence of Vaginas

We forget the vagina—All of Us

what else could explain

our lack of awe, our lack of reverence.

From “I Was There In The Room”—The Vagina Monologues

The season is upon us.  As you read this, all around the world, thousands of groups of activists are organizing, collaborating, creating, directing, and talking about The Vagina Monologues for their upcoming performances and surrounding V-Week events.

For those of you who have yet to have the pleasure of seeing a production of this show, the series of monologues written by Eve Ensler are based on her collection of interviews of many different women from all around the world.  Set out with the goal of bringing out the stories and issues that make up the complex and unspoken world of female sexuality, Eve’s production, The Vagina Monologues, raises a wide breadth of topics encompassing both the pleasure of womanhood and sexuality, and the danger that sometimes accompanies it.

The first time that I saw the Vagina Monologues, the entire show was performed by four women, each taking turns telling the different stories with different voices and personas.  I left feeling stunningly empowered, inspired, proud, and like I was part of a community that I had not known existed prior to seeing this show.  Having previously believed that the experiences and thoughts that I had around my own sexuality and my... vagina... were unique and that I was alone in these thoughts, the Vagina Monologues brought to light the notion that every one of us has a complex relationship with these difficult and interesting topics.  The show brilliantly highlights the profound joy, pleasure, and beauty of being a woman, while at the same time delving into the frustrations, the pain, and the trauma that far too many of us throughout the world experience.

I’ve found that this year’s script is particularly heavy, as a reflection of the current state of sexual assault in our world.  How is it, I wonder, that this epidemic of rape and sexual assault lives on so strongly and so silently to this day.  Indeed, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) just recently released the research results that reveal the immense prevalence of sexual assault in our society.  The CDC reports that 1 in 5 women will experience sexual assault, and (even more rarely discussed) that 1 in 7 men will experience violence in their lifetimes… a shocking and sobering set of statistics.***

V-Day and The Vagina Monologues, a global movement against sexual assault all around the world entering its 15^th year of activism, is one of the most effective and proactive grassroots movements that I know of.  Through entertainment, education, and awareness-raising, Eve Ensler and the many people who create this show each year, work towards the essential paradigm shift that will lead to the end of the violence.

This year over 5,000 productions of the Vagina Monologues are being performed around the world, every one of them donating 75-95% of their proceeds to local organizations that provide services and educate people in the realms of domestic violence and sexual assault, and to the V-Day spotlight cause of the year.  

Of note, the spotlight cause of the last two years, the women and girls of the Democratic Republic of Congo, where rape and abuse against women and girls is used as a strategic tactic of war, has raised enough money to create the City of Joy, a place of empowerment, safety, and community for women who have survived sexual assault and violence.

To the men in the audience (of the show and of this blahg), I hope for you that you experience the show as a source of knowledge and enlightenment and walk away as unfaltering lifelong allies of this cause.  You are vital co-warriors towards the end of this destructive pandemic, this unspoken war.  The change will happen only once everyone embraces that notion.

The Vagina Monologues are a piece of art, a source of power, and an evolving movement towards the end of sexual violence in the world.  Each year the show grows exponentially in its prevalence, and I urge every one of you to give yourself, your community, and the world the benefit of attending a production of The Vagina Monologues in your community this year, (even if you have before, for each year it’s directed differently, has new monologues, and supports an extremely important cause). 

(And, if you happen to be in the New York area, come to the show that I have had the honor of producing and directing at Columbia University Medical Center!)

As one survivor of sexual assault among the millions, I regard V-Day and The Vagina Monologues as our voice in this systematically silenced war, and with every individual and organization that joins the cause, our voice grows louder and more powerful.

I commend the thousands and thousands of Vagina Warriors who perform, produce, attend, and support the Vagina Monologues each year.  And we will keep on… Until the violence stops.

Love your tree. An excerpt from "America the Beautiful".


Thanks to Anna for introducing this Eve clip to me.

*** A clarification of the stated statistic: According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 1 in 71 men have experienced rape in their lives, while 1 in 7 have experienced physical violence by an intimate partner.

Planned Parenthood, Susan G. Komen, and Brick Walls

Earlier this week, in a despicable display of caving under the pressure of religious zealotry, the Susan G. Komen Foundation announced that it would no longer give funds to Planned Parenthood that the progressive public health organization used for breast cancer screenings for low-income women.

Now, here I sat, thinking that I was going to have to spend my Friday evening writing a raucous and angry post about how appalling it is that the religious right has so little to do with their time that they will sit around thinking up ways to creatively undermine the organizations in our society that actually care about taking care of people. AND THAT IT WORKS…

But, lo and behold, the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure Foundation decided that it would reverse its decision and reinstate the $680,000 grant for Planned Parenthood.  This came in response to a massive outcry from the public who, in a display of impressive solidarity with the important mission of the organization, signed petitions and pledged donations that flew in the face of Komen’s decision and ultimately surpassed the amount of money that the Komen foundation grants to Planned Parenthood per year substantially. 

I suppose that can be considered a silver-lining… indeed, Planned Parenthood raised $3 million as part of the reaction.

But, wait… I’m still feeling unsettled, so my raucous Friday evening post is going to take a slightly different turn.

What is it about our country’s political mood right now that allows for this level of intense polarization, to the point that some are willing to sacrifice the health of women through the early detection and treatment of breast cancer (one of the leading causes of death in women)?

Ok, ok, while I don’t agree with it, I accept that there are people who take issue with the controversial topic of abortion.  But what are we coming to when an organization like the Susan G. Komen Foundation, specifically charged with the “race to the cure [of breast cancer]”, feels it necessary to take money away from one of our nation’s leading champions in the prevention of breast cancer, in response to these loud anti-choice bigwigs?

Honestly, someone tell me, how are the two issues connected?  Certainly not in their funding sources through Planned Parenthood, as the organization has made it abundantly clear that the Susan G. Komen funds were used specifically for breast cancer screening services.  Certainly not in their level of controversy, I think we’d be hard pressed to come upon an individual or an organization that is anti-curing breast cancer.  Certainly not… at all related, except that they are both services provided by Planned Parenthood.

So the deal, it seems, according to the extreme conservative viewpoint, is that because Planned Parenthood provides one service that they are not keen on (abortion services, which only accounts for approximately 3% of Planned Parenthood services), we should shut them down completely, without regard for the many, many other essential services that Planned Parenthood provides for people every day throughout our country… The reality is that conservative-minded people are afflicted by breast cancer at the same astronomical rates as liberal-minded people, and Planned Parenthood is always there for them without hesitation and without regard for political ideology.

I look forward to the day that our country will approach specific problems with the goal of bringing the most brilliant and highly qualified minds on the topic at hand (throughout the political spectrum) to one table to create the best possible solutions on behalf of the people they serve.  We need to move away from these stringent and unrelenting brick walls that exist between our political factions so that we can discuss issues with some semblance of sanity.  As we stand now, even an issue as crucial, sensitive, and politically neutral as breast cancer, the cancer that 1 in 8, yes, 12% of women will be diagnosed with in their lifetimes, can be thrown under the bus of our staunch and irrational separation.  How truly sad.

Special shout out to Mollie Williams, a top Komen official who resigned out of protest as soon as the decision to cut ties with Planned Parenthood was made, stating that she did not feel that this decision aligned with Komen’s mission of preventing breast cancer for all women.

Save the Comb! Oh, and the Rest of the Internet Too.

A quick blahg, in honor of the online protests today against SOPA (the Stop Online Piracy Act) and PIPA (the Protect IP Act), two current bills in Congress that will censor what we, the people, can and cannot access on the internet.

Yes, you read that correctly… Anything that a copyright holder deems to be a violation of their copyrighted material can lead to a complete eradication of the website in question without warning or proceeding trial.  It will just disappear.

Yikes.

There is no doubt, people... If passed, this Congress will effectively end the freedom of information on the internet as we know it and we cannot let that happen.

The bills are widely supported by the movie and music industries (which is not too surprising), while they are vehemently opposed by many of the major online sources of information.  The very frightening reality of the issue, as many individuals and corporations, including President Obama, recognize, is that the negative consequences of these bills will reach much further than to those who are intentionally pirating copyrighted materials for financial gain.

Get this… THIS blahg, A Fein Toothed Comb, could be erased from the internet completely because of my proclivity for linking to articles outside of my own page for the sake of enhancing my readers’ knowledge on a particular topic (as I have done all throughout this post).  Unacceptable.

Everyone: SIGN SOMETHING against this horrific attempt to block our freedom of speech! Protect our right to information on the internet! Support the online protests being led by internet giants like Wikipedia and Google!

You know, our freedoms are being challenged far too often by this current Congress and I don’t like it one bit.

In the meantime, I’m going to go backup all of my online writing onto my hard drive.

"Hey You Guys" and Other Male Generics

I have a little bone to pick with the English language regarding male generic terms in the professional world... For example: chairmen, policemen, mailmen, firemen, businessmen, congressmen, etc.  The reality of these titles is that though they once did accurately describe those employed in the positions referred to above, they do not any longer.

I did a little Google experiment to reinforce the point I’m about to make: first I Google image searched “businessmen” (a common umbrella term for all people who work in business) and came up with the image displayed here demonstrating a scene of all men, and many others like it. When I image searched the term “businesspeople”, nearly all of the images looked more like the one posted below, illustrating a much more accurate scene of the current business world which now includes women. (The same is true when I image search firemen vs. firefighters, and policemen vs. police officers.)

These umbrella male-generic terms are outdated and are no longer reflective of the reality of the professional world.  The argument that terms like businessmen and chairmen are meant to include women in this day and age is weak because, quite literally, they do not.  Until we shift the way that we refer to these professions, men will continue to dominate the field, as a self-fulfilling prophecy.  In order to be inclusive of women in professional fields, the language that we use must also include them.

The way we talk is in accordance with the way that we think (and therefore what we expect of ourselves and what others expect of us); and our language is our most powerful tool for change.

While certainly subtle (indeed, likely unnoticed by many), I assert that changing the subconscious use of language is an essential step in the movement towards social equality between men and women.  The language that we use has, what I consider, “a silent impact” on the workplace (and beyond).

Thinking outside of the business world, have you ever noticed that when someone says that a woman is “one of the guys” this is generally understood by both parties to be a compliment of high-esteem.  The person offering this “compliment” usually means that the woman is laid back, easy to talk to, able to speak about compelling topics, and perhaps enjoys a cold beer over a conversation (which, for the record, describes nearly all of the women that I associate with). 

As a side note, while talking about social cues, “you guys” is one of the most common phrases that I hear when referring to a group of people, be it all men, co-ed, or even when addressing a room full of women.

Now, imagine for a moment what would be implied if I were to tell a friend that he was just like “one of the girls”… While this might be intended to say that this man is laid back, easy to talk to, able to speak about compelling topics, sensitive, and thoughtful (which, for the record, describes most of the men that I associate with), more than likely, that man will be quite uncomfortable with the notion, if not outright offended.  He might even feel the need for a cold beer and a football game with the guys to cleanse himself of this ill-gotten "feminine" reputation.

We need to work to move away from the underlying message that to be “masculine” is ideal, and to be “feminine” is inferior, an idea that is constantly reinforced by men, women, and the mass media at large.  One way that we can all do our subtle, yet vital part, is to give regard to the way that we speak and the words that we use to refer to people.

Instead of using spokesman, try using spokesperson; instead of salesman, salesperson; mankind, humankind.  And here’s a real challenge for everyone, instead of “you guys”, try using “you all” (carefully controlling the tendency to let this become “y’all” if that is not a word you are otherwise drawn towards) or even just “everyone”.

When we begin to inundate the professional and social spheres with the use of inclusive language, we can really start to make a change in gender dynamics.  I believe that it is not with malicious intent that anyone uses these generic terms, and it is not with judgment of the ingrained use of language in our society that I write, but instead to introduce the thought of the bigger picture implications every time the opportunity to use more inclusive language arises.

But… Baby, It’s Cold Outside

I really can’t stay (but baby it’s cold outside)

I’ve got to go away (but baby it’s cold outside)

We know the one, this old time duet describes an interaction between two people who are negotiating the next step of their evening and I just can’t resist but to blahg a bit about this classic holiday tune.  Something about this song has irked me through the past several holiday seasons, so here goes…

This song illustrates a situation in which a man is trying his hardest to encourage a woman to stay just a little longer, and the woman duly refuses, raising every reason to leave that she can muster up.  Now, the energy of this song does not strike me as a situation in which the woman does not actually want to stay longer with this man, however, the compulsion to refuse so vehemently, only to ultimately succumb illuminates a much deeper issue in our engrained sexual dynamics.

"But Becky," you say, "it’s an old song and that’s just how it was done back then, it’s not what happens nowadays, and it’s just a song, so what's the big deal?"  

And to that I say... yes, while certainly dated, having been originally introduced to the holiday song scene in 1936, I appreciate that this song is a product of its time, and a depiction of a very “traditional” scene between man and woman.  Why, therefore, am I even bringing this up?

Well, because… what we see and hear in our popular culture, we inevitably think on a subconscious level, and it always deserves a second think-through in order to analyze what these messages mean and how we absorb them.  

(You all will certainly hear more about my views of the power of mass media for positive social change that is currently being irresponsibly used to reinforce negative messages in upcoming blahgs.)

I simply must go (Baby, it's cold outside)

The answer is no (Ooh baby, it's cold outside)

We all have to change the way we communicate about sex so that the true meaning of “no” is understood and agreed upon by all parties. 

Here we have a woman who is socialized to exert her “proper” and “chaste” womanhood by resisting for the sake of appeasing her conscience and her family, as she describes.  Simultaneously, we have a man who has been socialized to recognize this dissent as a predicament of conscience on her part and to assert his “manhood” until she says yes.

While in this particular case, as in many in real life, this is a situation in which the woman initially says no, even though she desires what she refuses, and the man, playing along with this “game”, persists.  It is not difficult to imagine how this problem easily can and often does lead to some genuinely undesired situations and some likely confusion all around.

This is a problem that can hardly be blamed on men, women, or any particular person, but rather, the culture of sexual dynamics that we function within that ultimately contributes to the epidemic of sexual assault in our society.  And even more importantly, it's an issue that negatively impacts each and every one of us, and therefore must be pondered in a very deep way.

Way too many sexual assault situations stem from misunderstanding and lack of communication between the people involved and it’s high time that we make some changes.  With comprehensive sexual health education, and an increased ability to discuss feelings honestly when it comes to sex, we can empower people to engage in healthy and consensual intimacy in their lives.

My point here, as always, is not to ruin this holiday traditional song, but to invite everyone reading this blahg to constantly be thinking critically about the messages that are embedded in our popular culture and mass media outlets. Subtle and rooted as they may be, as in the case with “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”, these messages impact the way we think, undeniably, and must therefore be analyzed.

But baby, it’s cold outside… Yes, and I am an independent and empowered woman and I would love nothing more than to stay and have another drink with you.

(Special shout out to Mom, Dad, Rachael, Shoshi, and Kanoa, who, as a result of these discussions have likely had "Baby, It's Cold Outside" stuck in their heads for the past three straight days. Thanks for being patient!)

Dear President Obama

Dearest President Barack Obama,

I write to you as a staunch supporter and a deep believer in you as a beacon of much needed hope, change, and progress in this country.  From the moment you hit the political sphere, a new wave of passion was awakened throughout the country, rippling through the “Main Streets” all over the world, and unleashing a fervor that we haven’t experienced since the revolutionary decade of the 60s.  Many of us had never felt what it was like to have a political leader who we felt really understood where we are coming from and was ready to stand up for the issues that are so important to us.  I was overwhelmed with love and support for you and your soon-to-be administration.

I feel as strongly today as I did in the summer of 2008 when, as a recent college graduate boiling over with newly achieved knowledge, independence, and a flair for activism, I deployed myself to serve among the thousands and thousands of enthusiastic and inspired foot soldiers of the grassroots movement that was the foundation of your campaign.  We worked for up to 110 hours a week on the streets and knocking on doors speaking emphatically with people about your vision for a progressive future.  

I heard so many beautiful stories of previously disillusioned people who were voting for the first time in their lives believing that a solution to the extraordinarily broken system had finally emerged from the woodwork in response to the plague of the Bush administration.  Better yet, more people than I can even recount disclosed to me that they had voted for the Republican candidate during every election cycle yet, but that you were just too important during this junction in our country to not vote for.

This was a ground-breaking approach to the election process, setting a precedent for the power of the people in choosing our leaders over the power of big money that I can only hope will continue to progress in the future of our electoral system.  I am honored to have been a part of that shift.

(The devastating Supreme Court decision of 2010 that declared corporations deserving of the protection of the first amendment rights, deceivingly known as “Citizens United”, merits a dishonorable mention after that previous statement… an important discussion for a future blahg.)

Together, we enlivened the country to vote at record levels, specifically the historically silent populations of people: racial minorities and young people.  You, Mr. President, inspired us to combine our voices and let them be heard and as a result of that, you are now our one voice.

Through your term so far you’ve fought hard and you’ve accomplished a lot, especially in the face of the horrifyingly obstinate Congress that you’ve had to deal with, and we appreciate it.  As I write, the last of the troops are leaving Iraq, signifying an important promise fulfilled, and a powerful symbol indicating the end of this long, costly, and misguided war.  The Patient Protection Affordable Care Act, while not yet perfect, is a critical piece of legislation that will begin to chip away at the astronomically high levels of uninsured people in our country, and has already begun to work as intended.  You fulfilled the long-awaited promise to repeal the 18 year “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy of sexual orientation repression in the military, uncovering a deeply rooted issue of institutionalized discrimination.

This list of accomplishments is far from comprehensive, but the point is, I appreciate your work, your convictions, your work ethic, and most importantly, your values.

Now, that said, some of your recent decisions have truly taken me aback.

The decision to not allow emergency contraception (also known as “the morning-after pill, though, this is a misnomer) to be purchased over the counter by young adolescents after many years of research and progressive advocacy for this advancement, is a step backwards, flying in the face of the scientific realities of the issue.  To overrule the FDA on the decision to allow young people the ability to buy emergency contraception in their moment of need in order to prevent a teenage pregnancy is to further block the efforts of the reproductive justice field and thereby neglect the needs of the most vulnerable people for the sake of political gain, not to mention your promised commitment to policy based only on “scientific integrity”.

Another truly frightening recent development is the decision to not enact your power of veto when the National Defense Authorization Act was presented.  This bill represents a violation of human rights of epic proportions.  The International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, which the United States ratified in 1992 very specifically stipulates the protection against arbitrary arrest, and as importantly, the right to due process of the law. 

Though these treaties do not translate directly into domestic law, they are meant to act as a foundation from which our laws are created.  According to these treaties, it is the State’s responsibility to protect and respect these inalienable and indivisible human rights.  This bill is an abhorrent demonstration of the State stripping away these rights.  With this development, we are teetering eerily on the fence between a free state and a police state.  I urge you, with all of my might, to reconsider.

While I detest the reality of the “political game” and the need to act in certain ways in order to ensure reelection, I begrudgingly accept that the current political climate demands this to an extent.  I trust that you and your team are much smarter than me when it comes to ensuring your reelection in 2012 (which I view as an imperative for our political future), but I beg of you to not compromise your values and mine in the process.  We cannot let our country move in this very backwards and counterproductive direction, even for the sake of attracting the “moderate” constituents.

While my support for you is unfaltering, there are many, I fear, who are less certain.  They might not decide to use their vote to support your (totally crazy, ahem) Republican opponent, but they might lose the drive to get out and vote for you in 2012 which we, as a country and as a political party, cannot risk.

Again, I know there must be some kind valid reason for these decisions because I do not believe that they reflect your intellect, your ideals, and your innate respect for humanity, and what that reason is, I do not understand.

I simply cannot impress vehemently enough my view that compromising the support of the liberal base with such extreme legislation will serve us poorly in the upcoming election.

For this reason and so many others, please rethink these decisions and in doing so, remember yourself and the people whom you represent.

President Obama, even though I am less than pleased with some of these developments, I am very proud of others, and I trust that in your second term you will use the political foundation that you’ve been building over the past three years to serve us well and continue to fight for the progressive political change that this country so desperately needs.

For that though, we need to ensure your second term, and for that to happen, we need the support of your liberal base which might prove to be more challenging to achieve this time around than in 2008.  This is not a time (nor is any, but particularly now), to be abandoning the values of your base.

Thank you for your service, your life of public work, and your work towards a better world.  This is the time to use these precious opportunities to show us what you are truly made of: compassion, empathy, progressive values, hope, and CHANGE.

Yours Truly,

A Fein Toothed Comb

P.S. I think that at your core, your values align with those of the Occupy movement, and you might do well to express that.  There is a lot of energy and a lot of support brewing in that arena and your public endorsement would be an extraordinary boost to our important cause.

Occupy the Spaces

“WE THE PEOPLE of the Occupy movement embody and enact a deep democratic awakening with genuine joy and fierce determination.”—The Occupied Wall Street Journal, November 2011, Issue 5

Occupy… what a powerful and poignant word. One that I feel aptly embodies the potency of this global movement by the people, for the people. I really like it.

To me, the Occupy movement, preceded by the Arab Spring, represents a ripple of awakenings of the people, with voices ringing out and echoing around the world. There is no way to ignore us anymore. 

The time that I got to spend with the masses in Zuccotti Park (physically occupying), shadowed by the buildings of Wall Street, was empowering and overwhelming to the point of tears. I felt connection, contemplation, conversation, inspiration, and overall, like I belonged.

As Eve Ensler said in her “Ambiguous Upsparkles from the Heart of the Park” storytelling sessions, when you’re there, and involved with the call and response style communication, you aren’t just hearing the words, you’re truly listening, then repeating, and thereby ingesting the words of your Occupy community, establishing a space of unequivocal solidarity. It’s very powerful stuff.

I recently had the incredible opportunity to hear a panel of Columbia University professors from various fields speak on the matter, a perspective that I had been craving to hear and I am very excited to share with you all reading this blahg. 

The panel was made up of (among others):

Jeffrey Sachs, Director of the Earth Institute and Special Advisor to UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon.

Professor Sachs began by saying that “it’s going to be the millennials who fix this mess, and I think that the Occupy movement is just the beginning”. He explained that our current economic and governmental system is “very unequal and very unfair” and that it got to be this way through unethical and illegal means.  Professor Sachs says that OWS has been successful at changing the level of self-understanding of America, and has opened many people’s eyes. In his opinion, there are four elements of the system that are phenomenally broken right now:

1)     Inequality: The vast proportion of financial gains are within the top 1%, while simultaneously an unacceptable level of financial loss for people in the middle and at the bottom of the economic scale is in motion, rendering this time as the biggest wealth gap since a time that preceded the Great Depression by mere moments.

2)     Impunity: Crimes of immense proportions that impact the majority of the country in devastating ways go unpunished. The 1% breaks laws and fouls social norms without being affected, indeed, in many ways still revered.

3)     Money infuses every element of our politics: Lobbying, campaigning, insider trading in Congress… these are all part of a system that caters only to the self-interested rich and powerful.

4)     The decay of government investments and services: Education, infrastructure, environment, job training, science, climate....… Everything but the military is being GUTTED financially.

Professor Sachs asserts that this problem will not be solved by the Occupy movement alone, but it has certainly opened the world's eyes to the issues.  He suggests that the next generation of politicians, who we need to replace entirely because no incumbents will hold themselves accountable to such an enormous and reformative task, need to win without any campaign contribution that exceeds $99.

Peter Rosenblum, Professor of Human Rights Law, Columbia Law School.

Privatization is undermining human rights and it is the activists who bring to light the issues around the world that have gone unacknowledged for far too long. He implores that we all make an effort to Occupy the Spaces, some that are established for us, such as voting, and in a school setting, student representation to the boards, for example, and some spaces we need to create on our own. Wherever we are, we need use our voices to tell systems, government, and corporations what they can and cannot do. He made reference to the first Supreme Court case in 1978, First National Bank of Boston vs. Bellotti, in which corporations were deemed “people” entitled to the protection of the first amendment. 

“What a huge contradiction” Professor Rosenblum says, “that corporations can be free individuals but are not held accountable for the immense international human rights violations that they are responsible for.”

Bruce Kogut, Professor of Leadership and Ethics, Columbia Business School

We have in front of us a well-organized Republican party with a lot of money. (Uh oh.) Now, what can the democrats do? Professor Kogut stipulates two options:

1      1)      Realign with money. Refocus our politics around who can finance it, like the Republicans. OR… 

        2)   ORGANIZE extremely effectively: advertise, coordinate, and properly use all funding.

Professor Kogut asserted that the whole rhetoric around the 99% was a brilliant marketing framework. The notion integrates all people and breaks down the walls of polarization and the “us and them” mentality to say that we are ALL in this together.

--------------

So we’re off to a solid start.

Not only are we marketing the cause with powerful words and a voluminous online presence, we have been joined by key players throughout the academic, political, and international spheres. 

The Special Rapporteur for the protection of free expression to the United Nations, Frank LaRue, is drafting an official communication to the US government “demanding to know why federal officials are not protecting the rights of Occupy demonstrators whose protests are being disbanded -- sometimes violently -- by local authorities”. LaRue describes that the authorities’ violent response to this peaceful protesting is a mistake and it’s time for the government to defend the people.

President Obama, in an act of indisputable distinction from the current climate of the branches of government, described the unacceptability of the innate inequality that permeates our culture with the current economic theories that favor the 1%. He even alluded to the language of the Occupy movement; while not endorsing it as emphatically as I hope that he will soon, he's getting there. (GOBAMA!)

(Video above: Poet Drew Dellinger--"It's time to rock the nation, rock this occupation".)

We have grasped the attention of the world and we have a unique opportunity upon us that we must not let slip away. No generation has ever been more equipped or able to organize effectively and quickly.

We must Occupy the internet, Occupy the governments, Occupy the spaces, and Occupy our own imaginations to fully realize our potential as a people. We will Occupy with empathy and passion and we will shift the course of history. We are the 99% and our moment is now.

The Black Friday Frenzy: Harnessing The Power of the Masses

I would like to spend some time discussing the fascinating display of human behavior that we witnessed this past Friday, a day of the year known as “Black Friday” (the day that retailers can expect to “get out of the red” and begin to turn a profit) and the day that supposedly officiates the beginning of the Christmas shopping frenzy.

Somehow, corporations and shopping malls have tapped into an element of human nature that drives people to stay up all night long and stampede the stores in droves for this “American tradition” of consumption. Tens of thousands of people line up in front of megastores beginning Wednesday afternoon, many having left their families and friends during the Thanksgiving holiday, in order to get in line for these highly publicized sales on gadgets, goods, and gifts.

Fun fact: Every year the number of people who are shopping, both online and in-stores on Black Friday, the nationally recognized event that takes place the day after Thanksgiving, is growing.  This year, my fellow Americans, we broke records with approximately 75% of the United States, yes, 3 in 4 people, were shopping this past "Black Friday Weekend".  According to the National Retail Federation surveys, the estimated 226 million people (of the entire population of the US: 307 million) is up from 212 million last year. Yikes.

Another fun fact: Approximately 125 million Americans voted in the 2008 presidential election. (That’s of about 231 million people who are 18+ in the United States.)

So what are those retailers doing right? How are they inspiring such immense participation? Most importantly, what can we learn from this to ignite the masses in a similar way (minus the use-of-pepper-spray mentality, one typically saved for peacefully protesting students on the UC campuses, ahem, I digress)  towards productive and socially responsible means? Like voting, perhaps…

I eagerly await the year when Election Day is celebrated with a level of emphatic popular participation comparable to what we see on Black Friday, with people lining around the block for days in advance to cast their vote for what they believe in.

So what is it about Black Friday that so dramatically piques the interest of the American masses? 

Well, for starters, the strategy and preparation that goes into maximizing shopping on Black Friday is quite impressive, both on the part of the shoppers and the retailers alike. The lesson here?  Easy to use, easy to understand preparation materials can be a game-changer when it comes to being involved.  Educating people on the importance of voting and the issues at hand in an approachable and understandable fashion definitely has the potential to rouse the interest of voters and increase informed participation.

(Confession: I don’t read those books that are sent in the mail prior to an election with the dense Arial font writing outlining the details of the things we can vote on in dry and long-winded passages. I mean really, who does? Shhh...)

Bumper sticker by one of my heroes, Ani DiFranco

What else works? 

Having the day off…  If people had to go to work on that Friday, I imagine that not too many stores would be “out of the red” on that infamous day after Thanksgiving, alas, it would be a day like any other. I think that this should be our very first step towards increasing voter participation and sending the message that the voice of the people is so valuable, we’ll shut down the work force to let it be heard. Let’s make it convenient to vote! One sure-fire way to demotivate people to vote is to add it to their already long to-do list after they work an eight hour day in the middle of the week. This needs to be a nationally recognized day off of school and work.

So what more does Black Friday have going for it? 

Well, lots of cool stuff to buy, and we Americans, we certainly love our stuff.  So what of that… Could we incentivize voting somehow in conjunction with increasing knowledge of the election issues? One opinion writer, Matt Miller, of the Washington Post, describes his idea to implement a lottery system in which there was an actual cash prize for a few lucky vote-casting Americans… Certainly an interesting thought, a potentially controversial one, but intriguing, nonetheless.

Here's another thing that Americans love to do as shown by the Black Friday Frenzy… spend money! The same opinion writer, Matt Miller, suggests that every voter ought to be given 50 publicly funded “patriot dollars” to contribute to the candidate of their choice in order to offset private campaign investment.  (Spending someone else’s money… even better!!) Enabling people to be personally invested in the election would be an innovative way to increase participation, not to mention the added benefit of candidates having to appeal to individual voters in all of the states! (Not to worry, I’ll certainly write an aggravated Electoral College spiel in a future blahg sometime.)

All that said, I feel quite strongly that it is possible to invigorate the involvement of our populous in the democratic process. It is not only about making the process more convenient and understandable (though that's essential), most importantly of all it's about redesigning the electoral system overall to make us feel like we, the people, matter. It seems that we have a disillusioned population on our hands, many of us (myself included, at times) among them, and that is a sad state of affairs. Until we are assured that each individual vote truly makes a difference, and that the people we are voting for earnestly care about our day-to-day lives so much that they will ask us for our individual and important vote, our voting turnout will remain abysmal.

It’s time to get creative, to think outside of the box, and to reinstate our long lost democratic system.

Special shout-out to my fix-the-world-one-heated-social-commentary-debate-at-a-time buddy, Chris Garrettson, for hashing out these ideas with me.