Red Fish, Blue Fish

Let’s spend a few minutes thinking about race in our society. And racism.

Tim Wise, a phenomenal speaker and teacher, suggests that more people in our country believe that there is a chance that Elvis might still be alive today than believe that racism is still an issue in society.  (The video linked to "Tim Wise" is an extremely important talk, I cannot recommend it highly enough.)

As a member of the white race in our society, it is far too easy to not ever know that racism remains. Though many believe that we have already fixed this issue through the high-profile activism of the 1960s, I will discuss here my belief that my generation’s general passivity on the issue is a profound piece of the promulgation of the problem which is now not only still immensely part of our daily lives, but is more silenced and masked than times past.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” –Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., April 16, 1963

As Dr. King so eloquently describes, as long as oppression of any one person still exists, all of us are ultimately negatively impacted. One of the barriers with this issue, though, is that while one group of people experiences oppression, another experiences privilege. A difficult and controversial idea that underlies the issue of ‘isms’ in our society is that to achieve equality in our world, those with the social power need to understand and be aware of that power and the profound and unspoken human cost by which we enjoy it, and indeed, we must ultimately be willing to relinquish some of that power for the sake of creating equality.

The privilege we (white people) enjoy is not always easy to recognize; the deeply rooted nature of it allows for many to not even know that it is there. Or worse yet, to see social privilege and believe that it is solely self-created or a product of one’s own actions, and that those without social power (people of color) are the creators of their own destinies as well. Such denial, such unawareness.

Indeed, having privilege or not is about the schools that we attend and the way we are treated within those schools; it is about the communities we all grow up in and the perspective that that context offers us of the world; it is about the opportunities that are available to each of us and the future that they allow for; it is about the physical and emotional safety we all feel and the impact that feeling can have on our lives; it is about the looks that we receive from other people and the way that they translate into perception of ourselves.

It is about being privileged enough to take these things for granted.

I suggest that to be “colorblind” is far too limiting. The solution to this problem is not to stop acknowledging that we, as a human species, have different shades of skin than one another. Rather, it is to appreciate and RESPECT our rainbow of skin colors and the culture, history, and stories of each individual and their ancestors. It is to increase awareness of one another and our contexts, and to escape the culture of fear that is so perpetuated by negative media outlets, segregated communities, and a reluctance to explore the unknown. It is to recognize and accept the inequities and the privileged culture of supremacy over others that we, as white folks, are raised within at the cost of all others.

It is to constantly strive for a society in which being born in a certain place or with a certain color of skin does not dictate the circumstances and privileges of our lives. 

Rather than only a few minutes, let’s spend a few thoughts everyday on racism... And how to passionately and thoroughly combat it.

In honor of Trayvon Martin, whose crime was no deeper than the color of his skin.

V-Blahg: In Awe and Reverence of Vaginas

We forget the vagina—All of Us

what else could explain

our lack of awe, our lack of reverence.

From “I Was There In The Room”—The Vagina Monologues

The season is upon us.  As you read this, all around the world, thousands of groups of activists are organizing, collaborating, creating, directing, and talking about The Vagina Monologues for their upcoming performances and surrounding V-Week events.

For those of you who have yet to have the pleasure of seeing a production of this show, the series of monologues written by Eve Ensler are based on her collection of interviews of many different women from all around the world.  Set out with the goal of bringing out the stories and issues that make up the complex and unspoken world of female sexuality, Eve’s production, The Vagina Monologues, raises a wide breadth of topics encompassing both the pleasure of womanhood and sexuality, and the danger that sometimes accompanies it.

The first time that I saw the Vagina Monologues, the entire show was performed by four women, each taking turns telling the different stories with different voices and personas.  I left feeling stunningly empowered, inspired, proud, and like I was part of a community that I had not known existed prior to seeing this show.  Having previously believed that the experiences and thoughts that I had around my own sexuality and my... vagina... were unique and that I was alone in these thoughts, the Vagina Monologues brought to light the notion that every one of us has a complex relationship with these difficult and interesting topics.  The show brilliantly highlights the profound joy, pleasure, and beauty of being a woman, while at the same time delving into the frustrations, the pain, and the trauma that far too many of us throughout the world experience.

I’ve found that this year’s script is particularly heavy, as a reflection of the current state of sexual assault in our world.  How is it, I wonder, that this epidemic of rape and sexual assault lives on so strongly and so silently to this day.  Indeed, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) just recently released the research results that reveal the immense prevalence of sexual assault in our society.  The CDC reports that 1 in 5 women will experience sexual assault, and (even more rarely discussed) that 1 in 7 men will experience violence in their lifetimes… a shocking and sobering set of statistics.***

V-Day and The Vagina Monologues, a global movement against sexual assault all around the world entering its 15^th year of activism, is one of the most effective and proactive grassroots movements that I know of.  Through entertainment, education, and awareness-raising, Eve Ensler and the many people who create this show each year, work towards the essential paradigm shift that will lead to the end of the violence.

This year over 5,000 productions of the Vagina Monologues are being performed around the world, every one of them donating 75-95% of their proceeds to local organizations that provide services and educate people in the realms of domestic violence and sexual assault, and to the V-Day spotlight cause of the year.  

Of note, the spotlight cause of the last two years, the women and girls of the Democratic Republic of Congo, where rape and abuse against women and girls is used as a strategic tactic of war, has raised enough money to create the City of Joy, a place of empowerment, safety, and community for women who have survived sexual assault and violence.

To the men in the audience (of the show and of this blahg), I hope for you that you experience the show as a source of knowledge and enlightenment and walk away as unfaltering lifelong allies of this cause.  You are vital co-warriors towards the end of this destructive pandemic, this unspoken war.  The change will happen only once everyone embraces that notion.

The Vagina Monologues are a piece of art, a source of power, and an evolving movement towards the end of sexual violence in the world.  Each year the show grows exponentially in its prevalence, and I urge every one of you to give yourself, your community, and the world the benefit of attending a production of The Vagina Monologues in your community this year, (even if you have before, for each year it’s directed differently, has new monologues, and supports an extremely important cause). 

(And, if you happen to be in the New York area, come to the show that I have had the honor of producing and directing at Columbia University Medical Center!)

As one survivor of sexual assault among the millions, I regard V-Day and The Vagina Monologues as our voice in this systematically silenced war, and with every individual and organization that joins the cause, our voice grows louder and more powerful.

I commend the thousands and thousands of Vagina Warriors who perform, produce, attend, and support the Vagina Monologues each year.  And we will keep on… Until the violence stops.

Love your tree. An excerpt from "America the Beautiful".


Thanks to Anna for introducing this Eve clip to me.

*** A clarification of the stated statistic: According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 1 in 71 men have experienced rape in their lives, while 1 in 7 have experienced physical violence by an intimate partner.

Planned Parenthood, Susan G. Komen, and Brick Walls

Earlier this week, in a despicable display of caving under the pressure of religious zealotry, the Susan G. Komen Foundation announced that it would no longer give funds to Planned Parenthood that the progressive public health organization used for breast cancer screenings for low-income women.

Now, here I sat, thinking that I was going to have to spend my Friday evening writing a raucous and angry post about how appalling it is that the religious right has so little to do with their time that they will sit around thinking up ways to creatively undermine the organizations in our society that actually care about taking care of people. AND THAT IT WORKS…

But, lo and behold, the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure Foundation decided that it would reverse its decision and reinstate the $680,000 grant for Planned Parenthood.  This came in response to a massive outcry from the public who, in a display of impressive solidarity with the important mission of the organization, signed petitions and pledged donations that flew in the face of Komen’s decision and ultimately surpassed the amount of money that the Komen foundation grants to Planned Parenthood per year substantially. 

I suppose that can be considered a silver-lining… indeed, Planned Parenthood raised $3 million as part of the reaction.

But, wait… I’m still feeling unsettled, so my raucous Friday evening post is going to take a slightly different turn.

What is it about our country’s political mood right now that allows for this level of intense polarization, to the point that some are willing to sacrifice the health of women through the early detection and treatment of breast cancer (one of the leading causes of death in women)?

Ok, ok, while I don’t agree with it, I accept that there are people who take issue with the controversial topic of abortion.  But what are we coming to when an organization like the Susan G. Komen Foundation, specifically charged with the “race to the cure [of breast cancer]”, feels it necessary to take money away from one of our nation’s leading champions in the prevention of breast cancer, in response to these loud anti-choice bigwigs?

Honestly, someone tell me, how are the two issues connected?  Certainly not in their funding sources through Planned Parenthood, as the organization has made it abundantly clear that the Susan G. Komen funds were used specifically for breast cancer screening services.  Certainly not in their level of controversy, I think we’d be hard pressed to come upon an individual or an organization that is anti-curing breast cancer.  Certainly not… at all related, except that they are both services provided by Planned Parenthood.

So the deal, it seems, according to the extreme conservative viewpoint, is that because Planned Parenthood provides one service that they are not keen on (abortion services, which only accounts for approximately 3% of Planned Parenthood services), we should shut them down completely, without regard for the many, many other essential services that Planned Parenthood provides for people every day throughout our country… The reality is that conservative-minded people are afflicted by breast cancer at the same astronomical rates as liberal-minded people, and Planned Parenthood is always there for them without hesitation and without regard for political ideology.

I look forward to the day that our country will approach specific problems with the goal of bringing the most brilliant and highly qualified minds on the topic at hand (throughout the political spectrum) to one table to create the best possible solutions on behalf of the people they serve.  We need to move away from these stringent and unrelenting brick walls that exist between our political factions so that we can discuss issues with some semblance of sanity.  As we stand now, even an issue as crucial, sensitive, and politically neutral as breast cancer, the cancer that 1 in 8, yes, 12% of women will be diagnosed with in their lifetimes, can be thrown under the bus of our staunch and irrational separation.  How truly sad.

Special shout out to Mollie Williams, a top Komen official who resigned out of protest as soon as the decision to cut ties with Planned Parenthood was made, stating that she did not feel that this decision aligned with Komen’s mission of preventing breast cancer for all women.

Save the Comb! Oh, and the Rest of the Internet Too.

A quick blahg, in honor of the online protests today against SOPA (the Stop Online Piracy Act) and PIPA (the Protect IP Act), two current bills in Congress that will censor what we, the people, can and cannot access on the internet.

Yes, you read that correctly… Anything that a copyright holder deems to be a violation of their copyrighted material can lead to a complete eradication of the website in question without warning or proceeding trial.  It will just disappear.

Yikes.

There is no doubt, people... If passed, this Congress will effectively end the freedom of information on the internet as we know it and we cannot let that happen.

The bills are widely supported by the movie and music industries (which is not too surprising), while they are vehemently opposed by many of the major online sources of information.  The very frightening reality of the issue, as many individuals and corporations, including President Obama, recognize, is that the negative consequences of these bills will reach much further than to those who are intentionally pirating copyrighted materials for financial gain.

Get this… THIS blahg, A Fein Toothed Comb, could be erased from the internet completely because of my proclivity for linking to articles outside of my own page for the sake of enhancing my readers’ knowledge on a particular topic (as I have done all throughout this post).  Unacceptable.

Everyone: SIGN SOMETHING against this horrific attempt to block our freedom of speech! Protect our right to information on the internet! Support the online protests being led by internet giants like Wikipedia and Google!

You know, our freedoms are being challenged far too often by this current Congress and I don’t like it one bit.

In the meantime, I’m going to go backup all of my online writing onto my hard drive.

"Hey You Guys" and Other Male Generics

I have a little bone to pick with the English language regarding male generic terms in the professional world... For example: chairmen, policemen, mailmen, firemen, businessmen, congressmen, etc.  The reality of these titles is that though they once did accurately describe those employed in the positions referred to above, they do not any longer.

I did a little Google experiment to reinforce the point I’m about to make: first I Google image searched “businessmen” (a common umbrella term for all people who work in business) and came up with the image displayed here demonstrating a scene of all men, and many others like it. When I image searched the term “businesspeople”, nearly all of the images looked more like the one posted below, illustrating a much more accurate scene of the current business world which now includes women. (The same is true when I image search firemen vs. firefighters, and policemen vs. police officers.)

These umbrella male-generic terms are outdated and are no longer reflective of the reality of the professional world.  The argument that terms like businessmen and chairmen are meant to include women in this day and age is weak because, quite literally, they do not.  Until we shift the way that we refer to these professions, men will continue to dominate the field, as a self-fulfilling prophecy.  In order to be inclusive of women in professional fields, the language that we use must also include them.

The way we talk is in accordance with the way that we think (and therefore what we expect of ourselves and what others expect of us); and our language is our most powerful tool for change.

While certainly subtle (indeed, likely unnoticed by many), I assert that changing the subconscious use of language is an essential step in the movement towards social equality between men and women.  The language that we use has, what I consider, “a silent impact” on the workplace (and beyond).

Thinking outside of the business world, have you ever noticed that when someone says that a woman is “one of the guys” this is generally understood by both parties to be a compliment of high-esteem.  The person offering this “compliment” usually means that the woman is laid back, easy to talk to, able to speak about compelling topics, and perhaps enjoys a cold beer over a conversation (which, for the record, describes nearly all of the women that I associate with). 

As a side note, while talking about social cues, “you guys” is one of the most common phrases that I hear when referring to a group of people, be it all men, co-ed, or even when addressing a room full of women.

Now, imagine for a moment what would be implied if I were to tell a friend that he was just like “one of the girls”… While this might be intended to say that this man is laid back, easy to talk to, able to speak about compelling topics, sensitive, and thoughtful (which, for the record, describes most of the men that I associate with), more than likely, that man will be quite uncomfortable with the notion, if not outright offended.  He might even feel the need for a cold beer and a football game with the guys to cleanse himself of this ill-gotten "feminine" reputation.

We need to work to move away from the underlying message that to be “masculine” is ideal, and to be “feminine” is inferior, an idea that is constantly reinforced by men, women, and the mass media at large.  One way that we can all do our subtle, yet vital part, is to give regard to the way that we speak and the words that we use to refer to people.

Instead of using spokesman, try using spokesperson; instead of salesman, salesperson; mankind, humankind.  And here’s a real challenge for everyone, instead of “you guys”, try using “you all” (carefully controlling the tendency to let this become “y’all” if that is not a word you are otherwise drawn towards) or even just “everyone”.

When we begin to inundate the professional and social spheres with the use of inclusive language, we can really start to make a change in gender dynamics.  I believe that it is not with malicious intent that anyone uses these generic terms, and it is not with judgment of the ingrained use of language in our society that I write, but instead to introduce the thought of the bigger picture implications every time the opportunity to use more inclusive language arises.

But… Baby, It’s Cold Outside

I really can’t stay (but baby it’s cold outside)

I’ve got to go away (but baby it’s cold outside)

We know the one, this old time duet describes an interaction between two people who are negotiating the next step of their evening and I just can’t resist but to blahg a bit about this classic holiday tune.  Something about this song has irked me through the past several holiday seasons, so here goes…

This song illustrates a situation in which a man is trying his hardest to encourage a woman to stay just a little longer, and the woman duly refuses, raising every reason to leave that she can muster up.  Now, the energy of this song does not strike me as a situation in which the woman does not actually want to stay longer with this man, however, the compulsion to refuse so vehemently, only to ultimately succumb illuminates a much deeper issue in our engrained sexual dynamics.

"But Becky," you say, "it’s an old song and that’s just how it was done back then, it’s not what happens nowadays, and it’s just a song, so what's the big deal?"  

And to that I say... yes, while certainly dated, having been originally introduced to the holiday song scene in 1936, I appreciate that this song is a product of its time, and a depiction of a very “traditional” scene between man and woman.  Why, therefore, am I even bringing this up?

Well, because… what we see and hear in our popular culture, we inevitably think on a subconscious level, and it always deserves a second think-through in order to analyze what these messages mean and how we absorb them.  

(You all will certainly hear more about my views of the power of mass media for positive social change that is currently being irresponsibly used to reinforce negative messages in upcoming blahgs.)

I simply must go (Baby, it's cold outside)

The answer is no (Ooh baby, it's cold outside)

We all have to change the way we communicate about sex so that the true meaning of “no” is understood and agreed upon by all parties. 

Here we have a woman who is socialized to exert her “proper” and “chaste” womanhood by resisting for the sake of appeasing her conscience and her family, as she describes.  Simultaneously, we have a man who has been socialized to recognize this dissent as a predicament of conscience on her part and to assert his “manhood” until she says yes.

While in this particular case, as in many in real life, this is a situation in which the woman initially says no, even though she desires what she refuses, and the man, playing along with this “game”, persists.  It is not difficult to imagine how this problem easily can and often does lead to some genuinely undesired situations and some likely confusion all around.

This is a problem that can hardly be blamed on men, women, or any particular person, but rather, the culture of sexual dynamics that we function within that ultimately contributes to the epidemic of sexual assault in our society.  And even more importantly, it's an issue that negatively impacts each and every one of us, and therefore must be pondered in a very deep way.

Way too many sexual assault situations stem from misunderstanding and lack of communication between the people involved and it’s high time that we make some changes.  With comprehensive sexual health education, and an increased ability to discuss feelings honestly when it comes to sex, we can empower people to engage in healthy and consensual intimacy in their lives.

My point here, as always, is not to ruin this holiday traditional song, but to invite everyone reading this blahg to constantly be thinking critically about the messages that are embedded in our popular culture and mass media outlets. Subtle and rooted as they may be, as in the case with “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”, these messages impact the way we think, undeniably, and must therefore be analyzed.

But baby, it’s cold outside… Yes, and I am an independent and empowered woman and I would love nothing more than to stay and have another drink with you.

(Special shout out to Mom, Dad, Rachael, Shoshi, and Kanoa, who, as a result of these discussions have likely had "Baby, It's Cold Outside" stuck in their heads for the past three straight days. Thanks for being patient!)

Dear President Obama

Dearest President Barack Obama,

I write to you as a staunch supporter and a deep believer in you as a beacon of much needed hope, change, and progress in this country.  From the moment you hit the political sphere, a new wave of passion was awakened throughout the country, rippling through the “Main Streets” all over the world, and unleashing a fervor that we haven’t experienced since the revolutionary decade of the 60s.  Many of us had never felt what it was like to have a political leader who we felt really understood where we are coming from and was ready to stand up for the issues that are so important to us.  I was overwhelmed with love and support for you and your soon-to-be administration.

I feel as strongly today as I did in the summer of 2008 when, as a recent college graduate boiling over with newly achieved knowledge, independence, and a flair for activism, I deployed myself to serve among the thousands and thousands of enthusiastic and inspired foot soldiers of the grassroots movement that was the foundation of your campaign.  We worked for up to 110 hours a week on the streets and knocking on doors speaking emphatically with people about your vision for a progressive future.  

I heard so many beautiful stories of previously disillusioned people who were voting for the first time in their lives believing that a solution to the extraordinarily broken system had finally emerged from the woodwork in response to the plague of the Bush administration.  Better yet, more people than I can even recount disclosed to me that they had voted for the Republican candidate during every election cycle yet, but that you were just too important during this junction in our country to not vote for.

This was a ground-breaking approach to the election process, setting a precedent for the power of the people in choosing our leaders over the power of big money that I can only hope will continue to progress in the future of our electoral system.  I am honored to have been a part of that shift.

(The devastating Supreme Court decision of 2010 that declared corporations deserving of the protection of the first amendment rights, deceivingly known as “Citizens United”, merits a dishonorable mention after that previous statement… an important discussion for a future blahg.)

Together, we enlivened the country to vote at record levels, specifically the historically silent populations of people: racial minorities and young people.  You, Mr. President, inspired us to combine our voices and let them be heard and as a result of that, you are now our one voice.

Through your term so far you’ve fought hard and you’ve accomplished a lot, especially in the face of the horrifyingly obstinate Congress that you’ve had to deal with, and we appreciate it.  As I write, the last of the troops are leaving Iraq, signifying an important promise fulfilled, and a powerful symbol indicating the end of this long, costly, and misguided war.  The Patient Protection Affordable Care Act, while not yet perfect, is a critical piece of legislation that will begin to chip away at the astronomically high levels of uninsured people in our country, and has already begun to work as intended.  You fulfilled the long-awaited promise to repeal the 18 year “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy of sexual orientation repression in the military, uncovering a deeply rooted issue of institutionalized discrimination.

This list of accomplishments is far from comprehensive, but the point is, I appreciate your work, your convictions, your work ethic, and most importantly, your values.

Now, that said, some of your recent decisions have truly taken me aback.

The decision to not allow emergency contraception (also known as “the morning-after pill, though, this is a misnomer) to be purchased over the counter by young adolescents after many years of research and progressive advocacy for this advancement, is a step backwards, flying in the face of the scientific realities of the issue.  To overrule the FDA on the decision to allow young people the ability to buy emergency contraception in their moment of need in order to prevent a teenage pregnancy is to further block the efforts of the reproductive justice field and thereby neglect the needs of the most vulnerable people for the sake of political gain, not to mention your promised commitment to policy based only on “scientific integrity”.

Another truly frightening recent development is the decision to not enact your power of veto when the National Defense Authorization Act was presented.  This bill represents a violation of human rights of epic proportions.  The International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, which the United States ratified in 1992 very specifically stipulates the protection against arbitrary arrest, and as importantly, the right to due process of the law. 

Though these treaties do not translate directly into domestic law, they are meant to act as a foundation from which our laws are created.  According to these treaties, it is the State’s responsibility to protect and respect these inalienable and indivisible human rights.  This bill is an abhorrent demonstration of the State stripping away these rights.  With this development, we are teetering eerily on the fence between a free state and a police state.  I urge you, with all of my might, to reconsider.

While I detest the reality of the “political game” and the need to act in certain ways in order to ensure reelection, I begrudgingly accept that the current political climate demands this to an extent.  I trust that you and your team are much smarter than me when it comes to ensuring your reelection in 2012 (which I view as an imperative for our political future), but I beg of you to not compromise your values and mine in the process.  We cannot let our country move in this very backwards and counterproductive direction, even for the sake of attracting the “moderate” constituents.

While my support for you is unfaltering, there are many, I fear, who are less certain.  They might not decide to use their vote to support your (totally crazy, ahem) Republican opponent, but they might lose the drive to get out and vote for you in 2012 which we, as a country and as a political party, cannot risk.

Again, I know there must be some kind valid reason for these decisions because I do not believe that they reflect your intellect, your ideals, and your innate respect for humanity, and what that reason is, I do not understand.

I simply cannot impress vehemently enough my view that compromising the support of the liberal base with such extreme legislation will serve us poorly in the upcoming election.

For this reason and so many others, please rethink these decisions and in doing so, remember yourself and the people whom you represent.

President Obama, even though I am less than pleased with some of these developments, I am very proud of others, and I trust that in your second term you will use the political foundation that you’ve been building over the past three years to serve us well and continue to fight for the progressive political change that this country so desperately needs.

For that though, we need to ensure your second term, and for that to happen, we need the support of your liberal base which might prove to be more challenging to achieve this time around than in 2008.  This is not a time (nor is any, but particularly now), to be abandoning the values of your base.

Thank you for your service, your life of public work, and your work towards a better world.  This is the time to use these precious opportunities to show us what you are truly made of: compassion, empathy, progressive values, hope, and CHANGE.

Yours Truly,

A Fein Toothed Comb

P.S. I think that at your core, your values align with those of the Occupy movement, and you might do well to express that.  There is a lot of energy and a lot of support brewing in that arena and your public endorsement would be an extraordinary boost to our important cause.